After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
