he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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