Dual....:-)
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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