Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
