Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
