My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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