That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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