Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
