We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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