Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
