fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize