We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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