On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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