Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
