I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
