Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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