last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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