before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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