we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
