I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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