Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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