I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
my poor anus
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
