Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...