Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
