it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.