True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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