In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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