k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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