Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
