he thought i was a dude.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
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