what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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