just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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