Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
