I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
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You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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