I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
