I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
