i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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