You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
