so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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