Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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