she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
