it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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