she looked like the before picture.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
