Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.