Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.