I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
