Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
