we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
