Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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