69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
