Dual....:-)
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
