Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
