She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
