haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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