he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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