at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
