You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
