6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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