..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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