i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
barbara walters just said penis...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
