Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
