we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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