Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize