My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
