margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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