what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
