I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
