I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
