12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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