Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
